"How does it help... to make troubles heavier by bemoaning them?" Seneca
"That's what the philosophers warn us not to be satisfied with mere learning, but to add practice and then training." Epictetus
“Nothing, to my way of thinking, is a better proof of a well-ordered mind than a man’s ability to stop just where he is and pass some time in his own company.” Seneca
If you are not first, or can't be a leader in something, then create a new category. Doing this will alow you to become the leader in something. Take everything you learnt when reflecting on leadership and consider what is the reframe. What is it that only you can do, considering your experience in life? Ask yourself what categories am I currently in, what others could I explore? What new category can I create?